Switching off rice-support
I remember the accident well. The chilling sound of something hitting the toilet bowl as I'm about to sit down. Praying that as I turn around it's my lip balm I see, floating innocently in the bowl, knowing deep down the 'clunk' had more weight to it than a ChapStick. A moment of shock as it is indeed established: iPhone5 drowning confirmed. Just enough time to mouth "oh shit" before instinctively plunging my hand in after it. (Yep, I did put my hand in a toilet bowl to fish out my mobile phone. Not one of my finest moments). Cajoling the little guy back to life, pumping it's home button, willing it to be okay. The blast from the hand dryer. Is that what you're meant to do? Panic setting in as swipe keys ignore frantic fingers. Spasms of Apps taking their last breath.
Racing to the car with one thing on my mind! Rice! Driving erratically, as if taking a patient to hospital. We're losing a lot of blood here. Surely if I'm pulled over by the cops they'd praise my quick thinking with a police escort to the nearest Seven Eleven? Magically, a glory park right outside (finally a good sign!), running past the bored attendant creepily combing his hair. Ripping the bag of rice open at the counter. A look of pity from comb boy for the crazy lady at his counter. A nod of recognition for my predicament as he sets the comb down and mutters what I like to think is a silent prayer of hope... but is more likely profanity, as rice granules find their way to grooves in the counter.
The silent drive home as it begins to dawn on me that I did actually put my hand into a public toilet. A rising sense of dread that I'll get lost on my drive home without Google Maps, even though I have driven the same route hundreds of times over.
Online, I'm comforted by fellow Apple addicts in arms... "Watched with horror...iPhone tumbled out with the whites... full cycle... told him to check his pockets first... sealed in a bag of rice... works fine now". "Pushed my girlfriend in the pool... fully clothed... iPhone in pocket... in doghouse... rice blah blah... totally fine... gf still pissed". "Skeptical on rice trick... last ditch... week later phone lives..."
A week later, mine did not fair as well as my lucky counterparts. Paying my final respects, I switch off rice support.
Alive, just. But never quite the same.